#idk if this is at all coherent but i hope it is

[mtvjedi]

can i complain about gladiator 2. i’m gonna!!!! here is your official spoiler warning!!!!!

i knew frankly nothing of the plot before i went to see it i ONLY saw it because of pedro pascal and paul mescal (and denzel) so in that sense it was a good movie. in all other senses it was…………. well……….. a movie. why was lucius beat for beat maximus from the original movie but written worse. birthright stolen from him, wife murdered by the roman army, forced into being a gladiator due to the whims of powerful men, eventually becomes Thee leader of the gladiators, overthrows the current emperors/government/etc. except we have the added “plot twist” of him being maximus’ son AND marcus aurelius’ grandson. double nepo baby. i say plot twist because it was obvious to probably literally everyone who knows even a tiny bit about the original movie.

it is very obvious that they cut basically everything important from the plot because nothing connects. the ONLY plot line that has any kind of follow through is denzel’s so no shock he was the best part of the movie. side note i knew once they cast him that he wasn’t going to be playing some silly goofy mentor character so him turning out to be more important wasn’t surprising but his true motivations were and, again, the only coherent plot line in the movie. he was a slave, he bought his freedom, he got rich, and he did what he had to do to get his revenge. his and paul mescal’s relationship was the most interesting one because you were a slave but now you’re buying slaves and potentially sending them to their gruesome bloody deaths in the hopes that someday one might be powerful enough to help you overthrow the emperors??? did you KNOW paul mescal was lucius when you found him or was that simply pure dumb luck???? “the dream of rome is dead” ???? great continuation of the first movie because truly like what was supposed to happen post russell crowe killing joaquin phoenix and then immediately dying. who was in charge after that. side note: why were there like. full scenes from gladiator in there as flashbacks.

pedro pascal was like. kind of exactly the character i expected him to be. but again it feels like there’s MORE that they could have done with him. i understand why he had to die and it WAS interesting to pit him against paul mescal in the arena and then have the praetorian guard actually kill him to show how the emperors were losing control of the people, enter denzel, but. idk it felt like there was something missing from his character. i was actually convinced that the guy who put young lucius on the horse and sent him away would turn around and be pedro pascal and that would’ve been like an interesting little i saved your life please show me mercy here’s how i connect to the story besides being your stepdad type thing but here we are i guess.

poor paul mescal, truly. i thought he was as good as he could be with what he was given. his whole character just felt disjointed. like, it makes sense up until he’s revealed to be lucius. captured from his home, forced to watch his wife and eventually his friend/mentor die in front of him as a direct result of the roman empire, forced into slavery, doesn’t want to kill other slaves but eventually has to because he, like denzel, has an axe to grind with rome. but then he actually gets to rome and appears to not remember anything about who he really is, his mom figures it out in 0.2 seconds, and he suddenly remembers everything? had he ever even forgotten it? if he hadn’t forgotten, what was his plan back in his city? did he really love his wife? if he had forgotten, how does he remember everything so quickly? why does he hate his mom if he was 12 when she sent him away, aka old enough to understand what was happening? like, him in the first half and him in the second half are completely different characters and there’s not much of a bridge to connect them. there’s no explanation. honestly i kinda thought the real plot twist was gonna be that he actually was just some random kid and not actually lucius. like he just Becomes this character at the end without any real growth!!! he forgets about his wife and his friend! he has the chance to kill pedro pascal but he just……… doesn’t, for whatever reason. i kinda thought he was gonna die at the end because there had been so many little flashback moments to his wife crossing into the afterlife like russell crowe walking in the field to his wife and kid but i was gonna be really pissed if he died because then it’s just like exactly the same as the first movie where like who’s gonna lead??? you’re gonna be in the exact same spot in 20 years again!!!!!

idk it was just so long but nothing like. happened. it’s like a half baked gladiator remake but there’s so much CONTENT missing. overall, cheesy, the “dream of rome is dead, but we can rebuild it for all of us” or whatever thing was a little heavy handed, 10/10 for denzel washington, fun to watch if you don’t wanna think about the plot, pedro pascal and paul mescal as beautiful as expected.

[69thcavern]

ok i made this sideblog in part literally just to respond to this post because i, have thoughts. a lot of them in fact. on the relationship between will shane and thaddius blakk. and especially that line about blakk owing will his life.

i think will is the reason blakk found out about the surface (be it because he told blakk about the surface or that blakk clued in) and i think that blakk industries technology is inspired by the technology of the surface.

im both an artist/designer and an engineering student but i am ALSO the ceo of talking out of my ass, but hear me out here. the visual language used around blakk industries is very unlike the rest of slugterra's visual language. obviously this is to tell us "this guy is not like our protagonists" but i also think that's evidence to point towards the fact it isn't slugterran in nature.

i havent watched the show in ages so do not ask for any other examples from me but the one thing that sticks out in my mind is the design of the gattler. that's just a minigun. it's like nothing in slugterra, nobody even thinks something like it is possible (despite the fact that miniguns are a very normal type of weapon to see in other media that has weapons) and idk. it just sticks out to me as odd that miniguns are strange? and while there's no evidence even SLIGHTLY that it's inspired by anything specific from the surface i just think. if slugterrans had the tech to make a slug minigun im sure they would've. the fact they didn't implies to me a lack of tech. that perhaps. yknow. blakk got from, the surface.

so i think, basically. will shane is the reason blakk got access to all the tech he has. i think blakk industries would not have gotten off the ground was it not for that.

anyway forgive me if this isn't super coherent its midnight here and i am bad at being coherent at the best of times anyway but i HOPE my point gets across.

Will Shane.

the character I am drawn to in this particularly anxiety inducing month of my life.

literately NOTHING is normal about him. Eli's mom? Had to leave somehow. Bestie? He and Tom Por had a massive fall out. Blakk? From what we gather from the master, they used to not hate each other apparently. Jimmo? Straightforward enough, but that leaves the question of what happened to wills parents! like he's a decent dude but also shady af and paranoid as hell and, WHY is he like that? Idk and it's fascinating?!? he's the definition of just being human, and I love him. He's got a complicated history and PLENTY of unsolved beef, because everyone associated w him's got a VERY different take on the guy and they all have changed their opinion of him massively at some point or other. Like yall I WILL write everything but I will especially write TomxWill and ThadxWill I need to explore his CHAOS

also never, NEVER forget, because I never will; Will KNEW about Blakk knowing about the surface right?!? Surely?!? He would find out, either w his son or with the alliance w dark bane?!? WHAT IS THE STORY HERE?!?

give me your headcanons, they lower my heart rate and stop my panic attacks from my executive dysfunction problems.

[xaeyrnofnbe]

i kind of love how chip jay and gillion’s individual inner conflicts can all be boiled down to dome variation of an an obligational loyalty to an original family versus the loyalty earned by a found family. (found family being the riptide pirate crew)(i’ve been writing this for a while and my initial statement is not so much the focus of this post anymore as i have begun to ramble about chip. do please read though, as i have words i’d like to share about chip and how his story differs from his co-captains and where i hope it’s heading.)

but they all are undergoing this conflict differently!! chip grew up with the black rose pirates, he idolizes them. he looks up to them and respects them because they’re the first ones who actually gave him a family. and in trying to get that old family back, he’s accidentally built himself a NEW family, one which he has loyalty to out of shared experience and bonding over the present day! and now he’s faced with a divide (mostly in his own head, since some of his old family is literally a part of his new one) between his old family, and his current one.

jay’s version is maybe the most literal and straightforward. her birth family, the ones who raised her, did so to shape her in a particular way. she loves her old family, but in attempting to right a wrong within it, she has forged a family on the opposite side of an entire war. both sides want the other gone and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals, but both are her family. this is understandably a very difficult thing for her

and gillion, he actually has a pretty similar that going on, albeit with a few more complications. he loves his old family (the undersea as a whole, since he never really got to be with his birth family) entirely out of obligation. they were cruel to him, but as their weapon he is meant to protect them. he grew up under the notion that those in the oversea are evil, that humans are nothing more than greedy and malicious. he’s seen that this is not the case, however, as he immediately found himself scooped up out of the ocean by a new family, one that encourages him to be his own person, rather than just a tool. his two families conflict not directly in real life (yet) but rather entirely in his own mid and perception of where his loyalties should lie.

jay and gillion have both stood up for themselves against their old family in some capacity, while still remaining loyal to some individuals. gillion denounced his ties to the elders that governed him, but still seeks out his older sister, edyn. and jay stood up to her father (one of the highest ranked individuals of the navy) in pure and violent defiance, while still loving and standing with her mother.

chip hasn’t really gotten to choose just yet. he’s declared loyalty to the riptide pirates and to his co-captains, but he’s still looking for arlin. he’s announced his decision, but he hasn’t come to face his choice head-on. captain rose and chey are dead, numerous individuals have been all but forgotten, drey and finn have joined the riptide pirates but aren’t the same as he remembers, and roofus, though an important figure in chips life, isn’t the ultimatum chip has yet to face. because arlin is still out there, beneath the black sea.

chip is chasing this ultimatum but i don’t think he’s going to find it, even if arlin is somehow miraculously alive down there, even despite representing this choice in chip’s eyes i don’t think he’s going to provide it. i doubt they’ll have much time together, if any.

chip won’t get to make this choice because there is no longer a choice to be made. there are no two sides to choose from, there’s just family. one family. the old and the new are now one and the same. but still there is arlin. the embodiment of an imaginary division. a nonexistent choice that drives this third of the story.

my best guess currently is that if the crew manages to find arlin, it will be in his last moments before he succumbs to the same fate as his beloved late captain. and i really, REALLY hope chip is the one who has to take what’s left of arlin down. because then he’d have finally come to terms with the truth of his life and his family. he will have made a choice without choosing between the people he loves, because on one side is his family, and on the other, all that’s left is an inky, dripping, gurgling, violent remnant of chip’s idolized past.

the choice would be hard for him, but there really is only one side left to choose.

[despazito]

You're not being a dick! The dog world can be very convoluted.

Most reputable breeders show their dogs, and honestly it's a red flag if your breeder doesn't do any kind of activities with their animals (doesn't necessarily have to be conformation showing, can be any work/sports or obedience eventing).

Usually most of their puppies will go to pet homes, and breeders occasionally pick puppies they really like for showing/breeding prospects or opt to co-own with somebody who will show the dog under the kennel's name. The amount of puppies per litter who have showing potential can depend on how successful the parents are in the ring and how sought after the bloodlines are, but even if they look right they have to have a good temperament to be handled in the ring, and it's not uncommon for pups to fail that training and just become pets. There really shouldn't be a drastic range in soundness between show and pet quality puppies within the same litter or kennel. Most pups do end up in pet homes, and all show dogs are also beloved pets that are often extremely spoiled and doted on!

All these puppies will receive the same care and upbringing show quality or not, although I will say there are instances of puppies being put to sleep for being born without signature breed traits such as ridgeless Rhodesian ridgebacks, but nowadays that's a fringe minority. A good breeder will want all their puppies going to good homes regardless of showdog potential where they will all hopefully have the best QOL.

As for being "better off" if they're closer to the breed standard, that really depends on the standard! Most standards are fine, but here's an illustration of an ideal English bulldog from the American EB club:

imo a dog bred away from this standard to have a longer snout and less bulkiness that has a lower likelihood of developing brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome, a condition which hinders QOL, would be 'better' than one bred closer to standard. This is why I'm cautious of the assumption that breeding to standard=breeding to health, because a handful of standards straight up encourage unhealthy traits..

That being said, someone not breeding to standard and not showing their dogs really should have solid reasoning and an explanation of their goals as a breeder. Because folks who simply "want to breed pets" with random dogs are almost always backyard breeders who breed unsound dogs with dubious temperaments. If they aren't producing working dogs or have extensive history with dogs and are working on, say, an outcross project or trying to solve a health issue within their breed that involves straying from the standard I would be weary of them (and an intensively researched outcross project is not the same as simply breeding doodles, the breeder should have a rigorous health testing scheme for the parents and choose the cross based on more than just how cute the puppies will look and the catchiness of the designer name. if it sounds like they're pulling something out of their ass to justify the breeding, i would leave).

in theory, getting a puppy from titled showdog parents should be an assurance of quality. it shows the parents are even tempered enough to perform in a show ring with many other intact dogs and be handled and touched all over by the judges without any aggression (very green flag if you're looking into serious breeds known for being temperamental). but not all clubs imo have strict enough health screening policies, so sadly a champion parent is not an automatic guarantee that your pup is free of inheritable disease, some of which can be sadly quite nasty. in the very worst cases a breeder can even ignore their dogs hereditary issues because the dog is very pretty and wins ribbons, and you can't always count on club authorities to pull poorly dogs from the ring. this is why i think there needs to be more veterinary involvement in conformation judging and non-optional screenings to enter based on common health issues seen in the breed. you'd be surprised how lax some health screening criteria can be even in the highest rungs of conformation.

in conclusion, it really depends on the breed and the breeder. the best thing you can do is your own research, get familiar with common health issues in your desired breed, and ask your prospective breeder if they've done the proper testing. ask ask ask. a good breeder should be proud of their kennel and bloodlines, if they're cagey run away!!

[thecryptidbard]

ALSO can we talk about Hetty’s reaction after Flower tells her “You’re a good friend”???

Think about where she was at this point last year—having also just revealed a massive secret, one that almost irrevocably ruined one of her oldest friendships. She’d admitted in Ghost Court that friends were not something she’d ever had in life—something she hasalso just reiterated moments ago to Sam and Isaac, that one of the reasons she felt so trapped and alone and without options at the end of her life was because she had no friends.

Think about how far we’ve seen her come; in season one, it’s huge growth for her that after Jay’s possession, she admits to the other ghosts that she missed them. Or season two, how in a very un-Hetty move she’s willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Nigel (even though she’s sure she isn’t in the wrong!) for the sake of saving her friendship with Isaac. Or even earlier this season, how closely she’s clinging to Alberta in so many of the episodes, because she’s so grateful she got her friend back after being so close to losing her that she doesn’t even want to be physically separated from her.

And then now, she’s just once again revealed a secret she’s kept for well over a hundred years, in order to save Flower. She’s kept this part of herself from everyone for so long, and the very second she sees that Flower is securely out of the hole, she turns her back to everyone to gather herself and then bolts.

Isaac and Sam make her see that, yes objectively she has people here for her now like she never had in life, but Flower coming in and thanking her is when she actually gets to see and experience the reality of how different her existence is now. “You’re a good friend,” she says, and it might be the first time someone has ever said that to her. And Hetty just looks up at Flower so surprised in that moment, and so heartbreakingly hopeful, because I genuinely think that until right then, she really hadn’t considered it like that before; she just knew that Flower was in trouble and that she had to help her whatever the personal cost, because not saving her wasn’t even an option.

So much of the ghosts’ relationships, especially early on, were transactional, and, especially in Hetty’s case, built around enforcing particular power dynamics: accruing a wealth of back rubs, extorting Pete’s TV time before signing Elias’s contract, or any of the countless occasions she brought up her status as ‘lady of the house’. So the fact that she makes this sacrifice that feels like a loss of power to her is in and of itself big; but Flower acknowledging that, and making sure Hetty herself sees it too, by calling her a good friend—it’s a whole different level of meaningful.

She doesn’t just thank Hetty. She makes sure that she sees what her actions mean to her. And Hetty is so taken aback by it, because Flower saying this to her and meaning it is a gift she was absolutely unprepared for; a “good friend” is not something Hetty has ever known herself to be, up until now. But she very badly wants for it to be true.

[meteortrails]

zoro and nami are like if soulmates could also be two feral cats who’s favorite person locked them all in a bathroom together until they stopped trying to kill each other, yknow? they’re two people who’s MO is tough love and emotional repression trauma bonding over the experience of being loved by someone who only knows how to love people at max volume. they’re friends outside of luffy but their shared love and devotion for him is a gravitational pull that shapes their relationship. the understanding they share is one of knowing Exactly how mean and nasty and terrible the other person is capable of being, and thus also being able to look at them and say ‘you’re a heinous bitch but nonetheless this isn’t you. this isn’t something you’re capable of.’ and that specifically is so key to me bc it’s VERY different from the understanding they share w/luffy, but still presents in a similar way of making it impossible to purposefully push each other away. as impossible as their world gets, as insanely powerful as they each become, they’ll always be those two lost kids from the east blue wondering to each other how the fuck they agreed to this

[ash-and-starlight]

.

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[crushedsweets]

What do you think Toby’s relationship is with alcohol and stuff like smoke? You think he gets triggered like what if Tim were to smoke infront of him (pretty sure Frank smoked?) would he get triggered or something?

ooo ok ok. tw for mentions of abuse, alcoholism, etc under the cut

toby represses stuff very heavily. after about 3-4 years post-killing his dad, (so he'd be about 20+), he'd just not think about it. it's not that he's "healed" by any means, but he just think he has bigger things to worry about

he feels a bit more towards alcohol than cigarettes, and he'd get irritated with Anybody who drank ages 17-19. but, his mom would have a few glasses of wine every now and again, and it just relaxed her. she would just kinda sit in her chair and watch tv quietly. occasionally toby would find her weeping. so he knows that alcohol isn't like, strictly an agent of destruction and abuse and all things horrible (not that he thinks its good in any way)

if he knows someone is more of like, a goofy 'fun' drunk, or an emotional crying drunk, or immediately wanting to sleep, or anything along those lines - he doesn't really care. he drinks socially, though he never really gets further than being tipsy. he hasn't sworn it off or anything, he doesn't have that much self restraint

BUT if he notices that someone is more aggressive when they're drunk, even if it's just confrontational rather than violent, he gets irritated. often he'll egg them on and purposefully try to get into a fight with them, calling them sloppy and say they're embarrassing themselves and whatever. it's probably because thats the shit he'd NEVER get to say to frank without risking the entire family, and because he just wants their drinking to be as unpleasant as possible.

frank would smoke in the same damn armchair everyday and night, missing the ashtray half the time. so toby has an issue with people smoking indoors and being careless with cigarettes, he thinks it's ridiculous and dirty and whatnot. so he'll probably get aggravated and say something if someone is smoking indoors. BUT tim also thinks its gross smoking indoors, so he only does it outside - which toby's fine with. he gets pissed if he sees tim just leaving used cigarettes lying around

it's not so much that he'll be triggered in the sense of a flashback and begin crying and whatnot, but he'll get irritated if things fit into a certain memory or resemble franks aggression/carelessness. and he'll say something everytime, he's not the type to bite his tongue - especially now that he can defend himself

TLDR; he doesn't mind unless a drunk person gets aggressive or someone smokes indoors. he drinks socially at times. he doesn't smoke cigarettes.

[underkunimi]

HEAR ME OUT THE BRAIN IS COOKING A BIT

Luffy taking care of Law, someone who’s used to always taking care of everyone else, as a captain, as a surgeon. Law working on something super important and he says something about needing to go get water and all of a sudden it appears in front of him. Law hasn’t eaten all day and when he goes to get something, there’s a plate of meat waiting for him! there’s a note attached that says “FOR TRAFFY” in big letters then at the bottom it says “it was so hard not to eat thissssssss” Luffy forcing Law to go outside and get some fresh air and making Law go on walks with him

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[aziraphales-lawyer]

Literally no other way I could describe it right now.

[hermanunworthy]

scary really is the main character of this season, isnt she? but the thing is, she doesnt want to be. she doesnt want to be the kindhearted hero saving the world, when being a monster would be so much cooler and stronger (and being hated is what she believes she deserves). but shes had the role of a leader thrust upon her time and time again, being forcibly fueled w more power than she knows how to control. shes idolized by everyone: by the people in her school, lining up to date her; by willy, manipulating her by making her feel special; by the black parade, begging her to lead them bc they love her misery; and by her friends, claiming her as their the leader despite her desire to fight against their beliefs. and yet, she still cant bring herself to love herself. shes being pulled in different directions, keeping her from being her true self. she doesnt know who shes supposed to be, despite claiming that the way she is now is the way she truly wants to be.

yknow who DOES want to be in that position? normal. normal, the kid who nobody likes, who is always hated like scary believes she is. normal wants everyone to look up to him the way they do to scary. she had everything that he wanted: admirers, a supportive dad, an important destiny... and scary simply doesnt seem to care for any of it. but caring is all normal knows how to do. normal believes in love and hope, w the same positive world view that scary once had, who saw the doodler and wanted to help it feel love again. scary thinks of this as naive, even though she too sympathizes w the doodler. she understands its pain and suffering and anger and fear, and wants to continue that cycle. normal wants to help scary feel love again too. he cares so much about her, and wants to help her and see her grow along w the doodler.

normal forced himself onto the throne of the doodler. scary was forced by someone else onto the throne of the doodler.

[raiiny-bay]

finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)

[quokkabite]

i feel like this comeback is a good time to remind people that a lot of common AAVE words and phrases have been “rebranded” as “gen z slang.”

i think it’s important that we recognize the origins of these words and are aware of the context instead of attributing it to a new form of internet culture. it’s not “cringe internet slang from 2016.” it’s actual vocabulary derived from black communities.

of course, at times there are overlaps with other dialects that share the same words and phrases as AAVE, but the point is, if you are using these phrases that are not part of your usual vocabulary please take time to educate yourself about the history of these words and why black people have been asking non black people to refrain from using them. take a moment to think about your interactions with these words as well, even if they aren’t part of your vocabulary.

i have found this AAVE carrd extremely helpful and informative. it is a personally made glossary by a black person based off of their and other black peoples experiences. it also includes a guide of more credible sources about the history of AAVE and the dialects terms.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

Mirror

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Mild adult content, Blood Drinking, Mentions of Violence/Gore, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse

Majexatli always set up their tent a little farther away from the center of camp than the others, something Halsin did as well. Astarion chalked it up to some druidic strangeness, no doubt if he asked either of them they could blather on about nature. Majexatli hardly ever used their tent, though, most nights they simply took a bedroll or wildshaped into a wolf and curled up somewhere on the ground. It’s part of why he had tried to go for their blood in the first place, they were sleeping unguarded, unprotected by a tent, just out of sight of the others. He had meant to try and hunt for some animal to drain, but they had been right there.

The Shadow Cursed lands didn’t have the animals, or even living people, not enough to keep Astarion fed. And Majexatli had given near blanket permission to feed off them ever since the first time... It was foolish really, stupid, for some supposedly wise and experienced Druid to be so careless. Astarion doubted they had meant it, instead feeding himself on wild animals and occasional enemies unless they approached him. But after two days in these cursed lands, Astarion could feel hunger gnawing at him. 

Majexatli had excused themselves to their tent hours ago, they were most likely already asleep, and there was certainly no way he could feed on them while they were asleep. At first, he had tried, when they gave him permission, not to rouse them and just take a sip while they slept, it seemed the best way forward, the least intrusive. But they were vigilant enough that even sleeping he couldn’t even approach their tent without them waking and having their quarterstaff in hand or a dagger at his throat. 

Maybe there was a chance tomorrow they would come across some animals, or at least something that wasn’t undead. Maybe—

He approached their tent with a sigh, not bothering to soften his footsteps. 

Surprisingly, he didn’t find himself being seized by a hold person or crushed into the ground by an owlbear, even as he reached the edge of their tent. The entrance flap was open, a faint flicker of warm candlelight casting shadows across the floor.

Astarion had never seen the inside of their tent before, he realized as he looked inside. The ground was covered in a simple rough canvas, though half of the floor was taken up by various furs. A small log was on one side, covered in moss and small flowers, a lyre propped up against it, neatly folded hide armor laid atop it, next to a shallow woven basket currently filled with some of the plants and mushrooms Majexatli always went out of their way to collect. Their backpack along with various satchels lay half unpacked strewn across the floor nearby.

Atop the furs and sitting at a pair of low wooden tables, was Majexatli. The table in front of them was cluttered with papers and books and maps, quills and ink, a lantern with cracked glass whose candle was burning low. To their side the other table was covered in jars, vials, alembics, a mortar and pestle, from one of the tent’s supports was strung bundle after bundle of herbs left to dry.

Majexatli was shirtless, something Astarion had never seen. They always wandered about camp in either their armor or modest camp clothes, always disappeared off into the woods to bathe rather than doing so in the river at the edge of damp.  While Astarion thought better than to stare, not wanting to invoke Majexatli’s ire, the scars were impossible to miss even with only a glance. 

Thick, deep, jagged gouges—claw marks, clearly—reaching from their waist on the right all the way up over their left shoulder. They took up most of their chest, even the gentle swell of pecs was interrupted, split, twisted. The dark shadows cast by the candlelight only exaggerated the lines on their face, the silver streaks in their hair, the depth of the scars on their chest, the way what few ridges survived were twisted and pulled taut.

He made a point to look away, clearing his throat. 

It was impossible to know what his current standing with them was. The two of them had never been on great terms. Oh, he hated their naive heroism. They weren’t quite like Wyll, bright-eyed and woefully disillusioned, Majexatli was older, seemed tired, jaded. At first, Astarion thought surely they would see his side, yet they instead would derail the entire party to help anyone. It seemed likely they hate him in return, they had no problem grating on his nerves, criticizing his sensible ideas, grimacing at his cruelty. Though for whatever reason, they let him drink their blood, stupidly offered to help fight Cazador, asked him questions about himself same as they did to the others, heard him out each time he tried to explain to them the idiocracy of their altruism. 

Hells, he had tried to hook up with them—surely that’s what they wanted, he thought. Nearly every time he fed on them the two of them seemed to play a strange game of chicken, waiting to see who would be the first to break, who would give into arousal first. He wanted to hold out, but Majexatli seemed immovable, keeping their hands firmly by their side when he fed. 

Once he let his hands wander slightly, just enough to be plausibly an accident, brushing his hand over the front of their chest where their nipple would be, where he now saw there was nothing but scars and twisted muscles. He had tasted the fear in their veins before he felt them tense, though they didn’t push him off, even as their claws dug into the bedroll beneath them. They didn’t stop him, they could have, they were twice his size at least, they could probably deadlift Halsin and barely break a sweat. They could stop him, but they didn’t. 

The confusion had soured his appetite. 

Sometimes in the evenings, when Astarion tried to trance, he remembered the first time, when he had gone too far, drank too much. They had turned into a bear, tossed him off, and pinned him down before he could even blink. He vividly remembered the feeling of them straddling his waist when they came out of wildshape, pressed against him he could feel their arousal, even with their blood loss, their face radiating heat, eyes lidded, mouth so close to his. Even though moments ago he had been faced with the snarling maw, the bared teeth of a beast that could crack his ribcage open even if he had armor, Astarion was already half hard. He knew his face would have been flushed red, lips stained with Majexatli’s blood—the first blood he had ever drank from a person, sweet and rich and intoxicating. Oh, it would have been so easy for them to grind down, for their sharp teeth to dig into his lip, to slide hands under clothing—

But, no, Majexatli had apologized, rolled off him, and laid back on their bedroll in silence, going back to sleep. They went on the next morning to give him that blanket permission to drink their blood, clearly wanting more, only to never so much as let their hands touch him anywhere other than a shoulder. And then at the tiefling party, when he finally broke and offered a night of passion, of whatever carnal pleasure they wanted to take from him, they hadn’t jumped at Astarion’s offer. No, they had paused, given him a tentative “maybe” and ultimately went to bed alone—

“Blood?” 

Majexatli’s voice cut through his thoughts, snapping him out of his reverie. Looking back at them he froze for a moment as he saw that they hadn’t covered up. They had set down the book in front of them on the table but otherwise hadn’t moved. Their quarterstaff still lay by their bedroll, favored dagger nowhere in sight. It seemed wrong.

“I can come back later if—“

“It’s fine, I’ve just been doing some reading,” They looked up at him, studying his face for a moment, “I can put on something if you prefer…?”

Their face was unreadable, it always was, they had to make it difficult. Astarion forced a flirtatious smile.

“Oh, I couldn’t care less, darling, I just don’t want you to decide to skin me afterward for seeing this,”

He hoped he sounded charismatic, nonchalant, not like a starving man, nor someone hopelessly out of his depth in whatever mental lanceboard Majexatli was playing at. Majexatli in turn studied his face, no doubt considering their next play.

“Alright,” They said eventually, “How do you want me?”

A calculated move, perhaps they wanted him to beg, to lay bare how desperate he was, how much he relied on them. But… something about it unsettled Astarion, something in their gaze, something in their eyes reflecting back at him, something he didn’t want to see, didn’t want to know the shape of.

If it was another time, someone else, maybe he would sprawl himself across their bedroll languidly, batting his eyes and loosening his shirt enough for it to slip off a shoulder in an act he knew by rote to entice them to his side. But…

“You can stay just as you are if you like, I wouldn’t want to interrupt your reading,”

Majexatli almost seemed caught off guard, almost, the faintest raise of eyebrows, the slightest pause before nodding. They pulled their braid over their right shoulder—it didn’t have its usual ribbon, the sight felt like something forbidden—exposing the left side of their neck where he already had marked them. Two small pale scars, not fully healed, among a sea of freckles.

By the time Astarion had removed his shoes and come to settle behind them, Majexatli had picked up their book again. They jumped every so slightly as he put a hand on their shoulder, impossible to tell if it was from the touch itself or the coldness of Astarion’s skin—Astarion didn’t feel cold himself, but pressing against their back, feeling the warmth they radiating gods he couldn’t help but shiver, lean in closer to them.

Majexatli inhaled sharply as he sank his fangs into them, tilting their head further to the side for him and he could taste the spark of pleasure, the racing of their heart. Astarion hadn’t drank of many people, so it’s not as though he had enough experience to judge how their blood tasted in comparison to others, but he honestly couldn’t imagine anyone tasting as good as Majexatli. Their blood was rich, slightly sweet yet complex, flavor mingling with the earthy scent of the herbs they worked with, filling him with a fiery warmth that pooled in his belly.

It was a struggle to not lose himself, to not drink until he felt truly full, until the weight in his stomach was drowned in blood. Astarion wanted to be sated but also wanted them to shove him off, pin him down, press their sharp teeth to his flesh and draw blood in payback. 

Instead, he pulled away as soon as he felt the sharp hunger in himself dull, drinking just enough to buy himself another day or two.

Still buzzing from even a small drink of their blood, without thinking, he rested his cheek on their shoulder, let a hand wander slightly. Astarion hadn’t realized he had put a hand on their waist until he felt them stiffen slightly as he felt ridges give way to deep scarred flesh. He swallowed, warmth quickly fading as reality once again settled in.

He pulled away without a word, focusing on straightening his clothes, composing himself as he stood. Looking down at Majexatli, he saw them wince, their fingers lingering over the scars on their waist, where Astarion’s had been moments before.

“Do they hurt?”

It seemed neutral, casual enough. Majexatli wasn’t one for conversation, not like this usually, but he wanted to do something about the tense silence and couldn’t help his curiosity.

“Not always, they’re pretty old,” Majexatli shrugged, “They’re mainly just annoying,”

Astarion opened his mouth to say something, but he felt his tadpole squirm behind his eyes, images flashing in his mind faster than he could fully comprehend.

The face of a young half-elf, fair skin, a kind face, smiling standing by their side in a verdant landscape, warmth and adoration blooming in their chest, consciously snuffing out lingering doubts while hindsight has their skin crawling—

Curling up in a bedroll in the dark, a mantra repeating in their head He can make me great. He loves me. I just need to do what he says. I can have a home. He wants to help me. He’s a good person. I won’t have to be alone.

Looking down and seeing their own chest torn open, intestines spilling out onto the dirt, blood bubbling in their throat, looking behind to where he had been only to find no one, unable to breathe in, I’m going to die alone—

The connection broke as quickly as it had been made, Astarion nearly fell over from the shock of it all.

“Sorry,” Majexatli said eventually, breaking the silence, “My mind’s been a bit scattered lately,”

“It’s quite alright,”

Astarion hesitated for a moment as he stood, unsure whether he should leave, if he should say something more, do something.

“He’s married now,”

It was Majexatli who spoke, though their eyes remained on the book in their lap. The same page open as had been when he first entered the tent.

“Pardon?”

“I assume you saw all that,” Majexatli gestured vaguely, finally glancing up and meeting his eyes, “He’s married now. Has children, even. A beautiful family, I’m sure. Makes sense, it’s been 20 years. I haven’t been back since. Word is he’ll make archdruid one day, his friends are highly respected as well, always have been,”

Astarion opened his mouth to say something. What should he even say? Perhaps a joke, a jab at their character, it’s what they both always did. He couldn’t bring himself to, though, not then. He knew what they were saying, the meaning beneath those words, He’s doing fine despite what he did, I’ve spent my life suffering because of him, but he lives happily and comfortably.

Maybe if Majexatli’s eyes didn’t look so tired and distant and familiar he would climb into their lap, bask in their warmth. He would drag his teeth across their neck, lap at the fresh wound on their neck, try to pull a moan from their lips, get them to melt under his touch, make them forget whatever memories plagued their mind. He would ride them into oblivion until their nerves were screaming from overstimulation and see what their blood tasted like as they came apart.

Maybe they would let him. Would he, if the roles were reversed? The thought felt sour.

“Good night, darling,”

The soft sincerity in his voice startled even him.

“My tent’s always open for you,”

And the lanceboard game reset, though the pieces unsteady; the masks were back on, though cracked. Perhaps the routine was the closest thing to comfort that either of them allowed.